Thursday, November 21, 2013

Body Progress Pic Update


^Bloated, I couldn't suck in my stomach lol



I've been kinda in a funky mood feeling extremely weak and dizzy. Yesterday I halfway blacked out. I started seeing grey and tingles then I fell in the hallway. So I greyed out lol.. It usually happens when I stand up too quickly. I feel  numb on my face & chest like I am not getting enough air in my lungs. which makes the anxious feelings worse. And the low energy feeling lasts all day. To get my mind off it, I took some pictures to remind me I AM getting better. And I want to share it here. The other day the nurse weighed me and the scale said 112lbs. I couldn't believe her I made her weigh me again. And I haven't been that low since highschool. I think even then I was 115lbs. So great my body doesn't hate me anymore! The weird thing is that my height was 5'3 but I use to be 5'5, before surgery I measured 5'4 - how did I lose 2inches???  I'm posting up some pictures with Cushing's and 6 months after Adrenalectomy. And the last one is a few days after surgery. The scars are healing nicely. So far I have lost maybe 2 or 3 lbs every month to a total of 17lbs! And what is my secret? Getting a Cushing's tumor removal! Lol I have barely exercised, or changed my diet, I do eat smaller portions because if I stuff myself I feel sick... Every time I try to run it is too painful & nauseous. And I am constantly craving sweets and carbs these days. I guess that is what low sugar and adrenal Insuffiency will do to you-- give mad cravings but still lose weight. I just walk for like 30 mins a day... But I am very inactive compared to before. So it is just a joy to see progress!


Monday, November 11, 2013

When Healing Begins

Now that I am free of the Cushing's Tumor, I am given a gift for the ability to heal myself. This is the gift that enables any damage that has been done to my health, body and mind in the past to be reversed. The damage that has been done was many things from the list of symptoms. However I need to address the damage in another form that I hold responsibility for. For a long time I never wanted to accept that illness could or had happened to me. In order to start my true healing, I needed to accept the situation for what it is, however I am one to resist the thought of something I don't want. But not only did it make the process slower, it caused more friction within my energy and finding the peace I wanted.

During serious ailment, the body is weak so there is no defense to protect the mind. The sickness tends to take over but we have to be conscious of the situation and accept it. It is not easy to do so especially for a sick patient. But we have to know that we are not our "tumor"-- the one that creates the painful symptoms, or even our mind-- the thoughts that can create bad feelings. Being aware of the triggers and fears are very helpful. What I have learned is that the only thing I needed to do was to let everything run it's course instead of fighting it with nonsense worry and thinking. I can accept that I am not who I use to be anymore. Now I am given a chance to change and become stronger, grow happier, and make peace with my life. And if it took all of this to happen then thank God it did!!